But it's better if you hear for yourself when I post the audio tomorrow.

Until then, I need to distract myself. I suppose I should about myself in these. 

I like documentaries. Most of the time when I watch Netflix I watch documentaries. When I can I watch docs about cooking and chefs. "Spinning Plates", "Jiro Dreams of Sushi", "A Chef's Mind". I have a really weird connection to cooking. There was a grey area after I left Crayton where I was working part time at a radio station and working as a line cook at a local chain restaurant. So I don't really know what it means to be a chef, but I feel like I sort of understand.

I got a really weird sense of accomplishment from working in a kitchen, probably moreso than anywhere else really. From simple things like working prep, cutting vegetables, making dressings or whatever to actually working on the grill or saute stations as the dupes kept coming in on a busy Friday. Around 20 years old and for the first time really feeling like I could take care of myself and handle pressure.

I think about what my life would have been like if I had worked in a kitchen instead of radio. There was a fork in the road when it was a possibility, take an assistant kitchen manager job (basically just title and added responsibility) or get a full-time gig at the station.

My own particular reason for going with radio is a story for another time, but I like to sit down and watch the docs and think about that life. The art, the dedication to the craft and minutia of a really high level kitchen.

I watched that new doc "Grace" about Curtis Duffy a few days before coming back to Crayton. He came from pain too. But he had a different kind of focus and drive...and someone who really believed in him. 

Spend 16-18 hours a day in a kitchen focusing on creation and innovation and precision could drive a guy crazy. I suppose the best always walk that line between genius and insanity. It probably depends on the day of the week (or even the time of the day) as to what side of that line they fall on.

I don't know if that pressure would have been better for me. That focus and drive could have made me a different person. 

I know damn well that I'm rambling now, but I started this blog and I intend on keeping up with it even if that just means me rambling about bits and pieces of who I am or who I think I am or who I was. 

Hopefully I get better at this as we go. Sorry if this isn't written very well. I'm not the best at things like syntax and fragment sentences. 

It helps me to focus on something other than what I heard yesterday.